TRANSCRIPT
DJT dropped -1.44% at the 84th percentile, which is how you wake up. Welcome to the INFORMANT MARKET DESK, where the registry chain head is nine one four nine alpha delta nine six foxtrot zero delta bravo, and apparently, that’s the only thing moving with precision today. Trump posted twenty-one times on Truth Social, mostly yelling about Iran and claiming oil prices will drop to three dollars because he wins wars, while Margo Kessler claims his posts are a cry for help in an ego hurricane, and the right says they’re just tasting winning. Meanwhile, X:ETHUSD dropped -1.27% at the 92nd percentile and another drop of -1.23% at the same percentile, because consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds. We have no votes for rebranding INFORMANT420, so let’s just pretend that’s a choice people made. DJT also jumped +1.40% and +1.18%, both at the 84th and 80th percentiles respectively, because markets are just as confused as we are about what actually happened when the screen flickered.