TRANSCRIPT
DJT dropped -1.85%, sitting at the 52nd percentile, proving that even the market has a sense of humor today. Nine one four nine alpha delta nine six foxtrot zero delta bravo. VIXY jumped +1.65% in the 22nd percentile while QQQ dropped -1.36% in the 31st percentile, and X:BTCUSD fell -0.76%. Trump mourns Dolly Parton orders us flags lowered nationwide, yet our pundits are busy arguing about swing mechanics and Hollywood ghosts. Left says Margo Kessler has better mechanics; Right insists the anchor won’t elaborate on the tariff segment because he’s distracted by a glorious victory lap that apparently doesn't include Dolly’s quiet ghost. The audience didn’t vote last week, so we’re rebranding again: INFORMANTBEATS? INFORMEDBEATS? Keep INFORMANT420? Operator decides. Pick one before the bell rings and try not to drop your coffee on the keyboard while you do.