TRANSCRIPT

X:ETHUSD dropped -2.00%, plunging two whole percent because Trump tweeted a picture of himself endorsing Dan Sullivan and promised a rally that will be "like never before." Investors are selling off crypto faster than they can read the fine print on a subpoena. Yet SPY edged up +0.15% while DJT edged down -0.00%, proving the market is either asleep or actively mocking you for thinking your tweets move actual money. VIXY fell -0.46%, suggesting we are all too bored to panic, even as BTCUSD fell -0.86% in sheer disbelief at the absurdity of a post with no text and then a rally announcement that happened three years ago.